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    Managing Conflict in Relationships

    Topic: Managing Conflict in Relationships
    Order Description
    Follow these guidelines in preparing your document:

    For this activity, you are answering the questions, not writing a traditional paper. Responses to each question must be logical, well-ordered, and insightful.
    Write your answers after each question.
    Your answers should be composed in complete sentences and paragraphs. The entire document should be a total of 500 to 600 words, or about 2 pages.
    Use 1-inch margins on all sides of the document.
    Use a 12-point font such as Times New Roman or Arial.
    If you cite references (such as the text), you need to provide the source information in APA formatting and citation style.
    Your document should demonstrate careful proofreading and follow the conventions of Standard American English (correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation).
    Questions for response:

    1.Using the chapters on language and emotions to help frame your answer, suggest two ways that Ken could open this conversation more productively, beyond clearly expressing his emotions and using “I” language.

    2.How do you perceive Jan’s effort to convince Ken to forgive her? Based on what you have learned in this chapter, suggest two ways she might more effectively seek Ken’s forgiveness.

    3.What are two nonverbal cues used by Jan? What are two nonverbal cues used by Ken? In what ways did the nonverbal cues used by both Ken and Jan impact the message? What are the verbal messages used by each? What contradictions occurred between the nonverbal cues and the verbal message, and how did the contradictions impact the interaction?

    4.Reviewing the nonverbal and verbal cues identified in the last question, what are the roles that these play in the conflict? Do these cues lead to a more positive outcome or negative? How can nonverbal and verbal cues be used to lead to a more productive conflict resolution?

    5.The conversation seems to be framed in a win-lose orientation to conflict. Each person wants to be right, and to win at the expense of the other. How can Jan and Ken move their conflict discussion into a win-win orientation?

    6.Review the eight conflict-management skills discussed in the text. Identify three examples of these skills in the dialogue between Jan and Ken.

    7.Identify three places in the dialogue where Jan and Ken missed opportunities to manage conflict successfully. Give specific suggestions (supported by the text material) on how the conflict management strategies could have been incorporated to improve the interaction.

    Transcript: Jan and Ken

    Jan and Ken have been good friends for most of their lives, but because of what she
    said last week, Ken believes Jan has betrayed their friendship.

    Ken: Jan, we need to talk. Why did you tell Shannon about what happened between
    Katie and me? You know, [now] Shannon doesn’t want to talk to me.

    Jan: Ken, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tell her. I just kind of slipped out when we were

    Ken: Sorry? Sorry is not enough. I told you that in private, and you promised that you
    would keep it just between you and me.

    Jan: Ken, I told her that long before the two of you even started dating. You know,
    Shannon and I, we have been friends for a long time. We were just talking about guys
    and cheating and stuff; it wasn’t you specifically.

    Ken: Wasn’t about me? It was totally about me. You had no right to tell anyone that
    under any circumstance. Now Shannon doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’m a low-life who
    sleeps around.

    Jan: Well, I’m sorry, but the two of you weren’t even dating yet.

    Ken: That’s irrelevant. It would be irrelevant even if Shannon and I weren’t dating. The
    point is I thought I could trust you and I could tell you anything and it would go no

    Jan: Yeah? Like the time I told you I was thinking about dropping out of school one
    semester and you just happened to tell my Dad?

    Ken: Oh, that’s not the same thing.

    Jan: You know what? It’s exactly the same. I trusted you and you squealed. My Dad lit
    in to me big time. He never should have known I was thinking about that. I trusted you
    and you betrayed me.

    Ken: Look, I was just trying to look out for you. I thought you were making a big mistake
    and I was just trying to stop you. And besides, you know I was right. Don’t change the
    subject here. Are you saying, that you telling Shannon, what is this, some sort of
    payback for me telling your Dad?

    Jan: No, I’m just trying to point out that you’ve got no right to throw stones.

    Ken: You know what? Then maybe neither one of us can trust the other. Maybe we
    shouldn’t tell each other anything that we don’t want broadcast to the world.

    Jan: Don’t be such a jerk. I’m sorry, ok?

    Ken: It’s not good enough. You ruined any chance I had with her

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